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Well, October is nearly officially over, meaning the end of Halloween, Breast Cancer Awareness Month & Domestic Violence Awareness Month as well.
If I may be a bit vulnerable here {because my story may change someone's life....it happened for a reason....) - Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. You see I once was a young 17 year old girl, with low self esteem.....who WAS a victim of domestic violence. I was a senior in high school; recently moved back to the States {From Italy, of all places}, lonely, and quite naive!
Domestic Violence starts out quite discreetly; it's the little things that may seem "off" at first.........but then, at the same time, they don't. I mean, when you're that young, what do you know? For me, the red flag was the constant comparison to other females, but when I mentioned it to an adult, I was told not to worry...so I didn't. Brainwashing.....it occurs so discreetly, one doesn't even notice. Then, things escalated from there.........funny, how easy it is to hide the signs of abuse. I often wondered why no one noticed.......I lived with this guy and often recall leaving the apartment in tears, hanging out in the public areas of the apartment, silently crying out for help.....no one came. I remember all this like yesterday...and for years afterwards, I often wondered "Why?" "Why me?" "Why didn't I leave sooner?" I lived in pure hell, for a long time. I was a master at hiding my feelings, how easy it was to put on that "everything is great!" face.
Leaving.......not as easy as it would seem. I did....finally, by the grace of God, I am alive today.......and I am a BETTER person for having gone through it. {Who'd thought years ago I would have ever said that!} I blamed myself, I blamed others. But finally, I learned to forgive. Things happen for a reason, be them good or bad. Honestly, as awful as it was........and as much as it hurt, both physically and emotionally, I wouldn't take it back. (It sounds absolutely CRAZY!!! to even type this!) I wouldn't change it because I may not be the stronger woman I am today......and I would not have this story to tell, that may help someone else.
You see, Domestic Violence is serious.......it effects EVERYONE, the woman, the man, the children. It effects the community, the workplace. We need to talk about it, become educated about the signs and symptoms, learn what to do and how we can help. Stop saying, "Well, why doesn't she/he just leave?" It's just not that easy.............fear, dependence, brainwashing..........it keeps you there especially the fear. We need to do more about domestic violence. It needs to be talked about not just in October but every month. We need to educate our youth to prevent domestic violence from occuring. We need to encourage our young woman (and men, as well, as they can also be victims) to have strong self esteem...to know who they are as an individual...to protect themselves. We need stricter punishment for the abusers and even rehabilitation...and more protection for the victims. I remember the day I left - and sitting in that counselor's office as she showed me the different types of abuse (and I checked, "yes, yes, yes, yes." She taught me the cycle of abuse. I am familiar, and know it well.
I am thankful.......God brought me out of it, and gave me a wonderful husband and family. Good things do come. Be strong. Stay Educated. Be survivor. I am!
Let's not stop talking about it because October is over. Keep talking, keep sharing. It's worth it, you never know who you might help.
The healing will come...I promise.
If I may be a bit vulnerable here {because my story may change someone's life....it happened for a reason....) - Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. You see I once was a young 17 year old girl, with low self esteem.....who WAS a victim of domestic violence. I was a senior in high school; recently moved back to the States {From Italy, of all places}, lonely, and quite naive!
Domestic Violence starts out quite discreetly; it's the little things that may seem "off" at first.........but then, at the same time, they don't. I mean, when you're that young, what do you know? For me, the red flag was the constant comparison to other females, but when I mentioned it to an adult, I was told not to worry...so I didn't. Brainwashing.....it occurs so discreetly, one doesn't even notice. Then, things escalated from there.........funny, how easy it is to hide the signs of abuse. I often wondered why no one noticed.......I lived with this guy and often recall leaving the apartment in tears, hanging out in the public areas of the apartment, silently crying out for help.....no one came. I remember all this like yesterday...and for years afterwards, I often wondered "Why?" "Why me?" "Why didn't I leave sooner?" I lived in pure hell, for a long time. I was a master at hiding my feelings, how easy it was to put on that "everything is great!" face.
Leaving.......not as easy as it would seem. I did....finally, by the grace of God, I am alive today.......and I am a BETTER person for having gone through it. {Who'd thought years ago I would have ever said that!} I blamed myself, I blamed others. But finally, I learned to forgive. Things happen for a reason, be them good or bad. Honestly, as awful as it was........and as much as it hurt, both physically and emotionally, I wouldn't take it back. (It sounds absolutely CRAZY!!! to even type this!) I wouldn't change it because I may not be the stronger woman I am today......and I would not have this story to tell, that may help someone else.
You see, Domestic Violence is serious.......it effects EVERYONE, the woman, the man, the children. It effects the community, the workplace. We need to talk about it, become educated about the signs and symptoms, learn what to do and how we can help. Stop saying, "Well, why doesn't she/he just leave?" It's just not that easy.............fear, dependence, brainwashing..........it keeps you there especially the fear. We need to do more about domestic violence. It needs to be talked about not just in October but every month. We need to educate our youth to prevent domestic violence from occuring. We need to encourage our young woman (and men, as well, as they can also be victims) to have strong self esteem...to know who they are as an individual...to protect themselves. We need stricter punishment for the abusers and even rehabilitation...and more protection for the victims. I remember the day I left - and sitting in that counselor's office as she showed me the different types of abuse (and I checked, "yes, yes, yes, yes." She taught me the cycle of abuse. I am familiar, and know it well.
I am thankful.......God brought me out of it, and gave me a wonderful husband and family. Good things do come. Be strong. Stay Educated. Be survivor. I am!
Let's not stop talking about it because October is over. Keep talking, keep sharing. It's worth it, you never know who you might help.
The healing will come...I promise.
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