....Silence....

......Before I had a child, I could not stand the silence. Anytime I was alone, there would be some sort of background noise.....typically a television on.....to drown out the silence. Then, I became a mother.....

Several years into motherhood, I discovered the joy of silence. Not that I disliked the "noise" of a child....I in fact loved it. But I grew up and realised how much you can hear in an hour or two of silence. Just being still.....no background noise.....just yourself and your thoughts.......or sometimes not even your thoughts if you are able to turn them off.

I learned that in that time of silence and stillness I could hear the most important thoughts...I am able to discover the most creative ideas in that time of silence. Being still, being silent and listening....you hear more than you could ever possibly hear in the midst of all that noise. No distractions.

So listen to the silence.

-Loss and Regrets.-

I'd venture to guess most of us have regrets in life. 

This holiday weekend I received news of the passing of a dear Italian friend and, while not related by blood, extended family member. I knew of his illness and I took it in strides...knowing his days were numbered. Receiving the news of his death via email...it took some time to process it. Yes, he was in his upper 70's and had lived a good life. But death is death. Especially when I'd hoped to see him again. 

It was always "next year, next year." It's too expensive to go to Italy this year. I know I really want to see my friends that I haven't seen in two decades, I know some of my extended family members are getting older....but we have time.  I'll go next year. For sure. It's been six years, and I still haven't gone back to see my blood-related cousins in Palermo. It's been 22 years since I've been back to the Brindisi area in Italy to see my old friends in which I consider family. Time. Waits. For No One. 

Yes, I have regrets. And now I have to come to a peace within myself of knowing I didn't get to see him again...because as we say in Italy..."Domani. I'll go domani." 

Tomorrow came....and so did his last breaths. My heart aches for the family....we were all so very close. My heart hurts knowing I didn't get to say goodbye. I remember the good times, cooking in the kitchen, holidays spent together. A bond that cannot be explained. Cultures coming together, sharing their lives and families, learning from one another. 

Do what you can today. Don't keep putting it off.