-Loss and Regrets.-

I'd venture to guess most of us have regrets in life. 

This holiday weekend I received news of the passing of a dear Italian friend and, while not related by blood, extended family member. I knew of his illness and I took it in strides...knowing his days were numbered. Receiving the news of his death via email...it took some time to process it. Yes, he was in his upper 70's and had lived a good life. But death is death. Especially when I'd hoped to see him again. 

It was always "next year, next year." It's too expensive to go to Italy this year. I know I really want to see my friends that I haven't seen in two decades, I know some of my extended family members are getting older....but we have time.  I'll go next year. For sure. It's been six years, and I still haven't gone back to see my blood-related cousins in Palermo. It's been 22 years since I've been back to the Brindisi area in Italy to see my old friends in which I consider family. Time. Waits. For No One. 

Yes, I have regrets. And now I have to come to a peace within myself of knowing I didn't get to see him again...because as we say in Italy..."Domani. I'll go domani." 

Tomorrow came....and so did his last breaths. My heart aches for the family....we were all so very close. My heart hurts knowing I didn't get to say goodbye. I remember the good times, cooking in the kitchen, holidays spent together. A bond that cannot be explained. Cultures coming together, sharing their lives and families, learning from one another. 

Do what you can today. Don't keep putting it off. 

---I Wish---

I wish you peace.

I wish your dreams come true.

I wish you hope and happiness.

I wish you unconditional, passionate love.

I wish you joy deep within.

I wish you friendship that lasts a lifetime.

I wish you well.

I wish you health.

I wish you all the great things this world & life have to offer. 

I wish...

......Just Friends?

I am not certain sometimes how these conversations begin. Recently, a friend posed this question: Can men and women be JUST friends?

You would think this would be a simple "yes or no" question and one would move on to another topic from there. Nope. Not really that simple. Or is it? 

My thoughts were this. We're talking about grown up's here. Not kids. Grown Ups. So my answer is yes. They can. Why not? 

I've posed this question to several friends since this conversation. Most  have said yes. As long as they've never dated...or been intimate to any degree. I can see where that would be true. If it's simply platonic. Yes. They can. If they were intimate to any degree, I can see where things might become slightly more complicated within the friendship. The parties involved would need to know where to draw the line. Ultimately though, it's up to the parties involved to define their relationship.

Every relationship - platonic or not - involves boundaries, rules of sort. Establish those boundaries and run with it. The women I polled said they love the input they get from their guy friends. It isn't a perspective we, as women, have. And vice versa. I mean come on men, your conversation involves the latest football statistics when you get together. You. Need. Us. Platonically. Who else are you going to have deep meaningful conversations with?! And yes, we need you too, men. You have perspectives on things we just don't understand. Opposite sex friendships work.

My thoughts are this. It's up to you. No one else has the right to judge your friendship(s.) Each of us define our own friendships. Who cares what others think and assume. We all know what "they" say about assumptions anyways. Do what works for you. Create your own relationships and stop worrying about what others think.

Live YOUR life. Do what's best for you. 

...True Friendship.

I'd like to start by saying this: True Friendship - and when I say "true," I mean "true," is a rare gem, something that doesn't come often in life.

On one hand nearly, I can count the number of people - outside of my family - that I consider a true friend. Someone I can go to at any time, someone I completely trust with whatever I say. Someone that is there to laugh with me and to cry with me. Someone that continues to stand in my corner....and cheer me on....even when I don't feel like going on. Someone that doesn't tell me what I WANT to hear but what I NEED to hear. Someone who I would trust with my life......there for each other....always no matter what.

Those friends, those real friends, are so hard to find. I love those friends that "get me." They know who I am and what I am thinking, sometimes even before I do. And when you are uncertain of something in that friendship, to be able to talk it out....and make sure each other is okay and on the same page, without being afraid of hurting each others' feelings. Yeah. That's real friendship. 

I am thankful for each of you. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you.

Are They Really?

....Sometimes....you may think people are your friends, but they really are not. Not everyone is sincere in their words and actions. Look closely....are they really sincere? You be the judge.

Not everyone's motives and intentions are honest. They may cover it all up with the right words and actions....but it's just a game.

Too many people playing games with each other creates unnecessary hurt and drama and loss of trust. Friendships are taken too lightly.

I put walls up for a long time, as I was tired of the hurt. Tired of the pain. Tired of all the issues that go with any sort of relationship.

Then, I "grew up", moved on, thought I'd try this whole trusting people and friends again. But people have their own motives, their own agendas and can be incredibly manipulative. And for someone like me, who always finds the good in everyone, who trusts and gives too much, it just doesn't seem to work. Maybe I am still a bit naive.

I think I prefer the "walls up" version...so I am putting them back up. Most are going to have to get out. I should have never let some of you in, close to me. Too much hurt. Too much heartache. Not worth either of it. Keeping my true friends close........

Look closely....Listen Closely. You will see who is truly on your team, who truly cares for you, who will truly be there with you. Don't put the blinders on like I have done. Keep your eyes open.

Learning from life's mistakes. Loving myself first.

{Friendship}

So today, on my Facebook pages, I posted the following question: In one word, what does friendship mean to you? As of now, I've got no comments, which leads me to believe either (1) I need to be more exciting or (2) I've got you stumped. (Or maybe no one really looks at my page much anyways.

I've always held friendships in high regards.....the few close ones I have had over the years. But then, life happened, circumstances made me shut down and put up walls for years...not allowing anyone in to avoid the pain that goes with friendship and relationships in general. 

So today in transit to home, while my mind has eight million, six hundred thousand and thirty thoughts racing through it...I decided to throw that question out there.

What does friendship mean to me?

-Unconditional
-Forever
-Support
-Trust
-Openness
-Honesty
-Laughter
-Tears
-Truth
-Fun
-Listening (ear)
-Advise
-Nonjudgemental
-Love

So much more comes to mind. Not single words though. Friendship should be unconditional.....no matter what......I hold you as my friend, love you as my friend.