-Giving.

Is it possible? To give too much? 

Is it possible to give so much, you can give no more?

Is it possible to burn yourself out from giving?

I can answer this for you. 

I am a "giver;" a "caretaker" if you will. It is possible. And I've been there.

Burnt out. Gave so much. With no one to replenish me along the way and no time to stop to replenish myself.

Giving of yourself is and should be a positive thing.

I fully believe one should give, their time, their talents,their love, their friendship. 

In giving, one should definitely have set personal boundaries as well as the ability to say "no."

You see as a giver or a caretaker, one can over-give easily without these. 

And when you over give, you can easily become stressed out, overburdened, overwhelmed. It's not a good feeling. 

Giving should be pleasurable. Giving of yourself in whatever aspect it might be should feel rewarding. It should never feel like a chore, a burden. 

Balance your giving. Balance yourself. Balance your life. And give. 

{Be You.}

"It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not." Mr. 62 (aka: Benny Garcia)

So often, in our society, we are busy trying to be what others want us to be.

Living up to others ideals of who we should be.

We forget to be ourselves. We think by achieving others' approvals, we will find happiness. 

We lose ourselves in the search for constant approval. We think by conforming to what others believe, we will gain their friendship, their love. But we are only fooling ourselves.

Why be someone you're not?

I spent many (many) years trying to gain approval. I spent many years trying to "fit in." What exactly does it mean to "fit in" anyhow? Aren't we all unique and individuals?  We fake who we are to fit in, we change who we are in different situations. None of this is necessary. You only make it harder on yourself. Watch and see how always being the "real" you changes your state if mind and state if happiness. 

Aren't quite sure who you are? It's okay. Spend some time alone, discovering yourself. Set your own expectations for yourself, and live up to them.

Ultimately, who cares what others think of you? Their opinions Don't. Matter. The only one who does is your opinion, your thoughts of yourself.

Be yourself...always. Don't change or compromise for anyone. Love yourself, like yourself. Be true to yourself. It will make a difference.

Watch. And. See.

....What's Stopping You?

What's Stopping You?

Life is short. Live in the moment. Be present. 

Create memories. Do something new each and every day.

What's Stopping You? 

Fear? Money? Lack of support? Lack of knowledge?

Make. It. Happen.

Don't let anything stop you from achieving your goals. Live life to the fullest.

.....Think about it: What's Stopping You? Overcome those obstacles, any way you can. 

......Just Friends?

I am not certain sometimes how these conversations begin. Recently, a friend posed this question: Can men and women be JUST friends?

You would think this would be a simple "yes or no" question and one would move on to another topic from there. Nope. Not really that simple. Or is it? 

My thoughts were this. We're talking about grown up's here. Not kids. Grown Ups. So my answer is yes. They can. Why not? 

I've posed this question to several friends since this conversation. Most  have said yes. As long as they've never dated...or been intimate to any degree. I can see where that would be true. If it's simply platonic. Yes. They can. If they were intimate to any degree, I can see where things might become slightly more complicated within the friendship. The parties involved would need to know where to draw the line. Ultimately though, it's up to the parties involved to define their relationship.

Every relationship - platonic or not - involves boundaries, rules of sort. Establish those boundaries and run with it. The women I polled said they love the input they get from their guy friends. It isn't a perspective we, as women, have. And vice versa. I mean come on men, your conversation involves the latest football statistics when you get together. You. Need. Us. Platonically. Who else are you going to have deep meaningful conversations with?! And yes, we need you too, men. You have perspectives on things we just don't understand. Opposite sex friendships work.

My thoughts are this. It's up to you. No one else has the right to judge your friendship(s.) Each of us define our own friendships. Who cares what others think and assume. We all know what "they" say about assumptions anyways. Do what works for you. Create your own relationships and stop worrying about what others think.

Live YOUR life. Do what's best for you. 

Memories.

What is the earliest age you can go back to and define where your memories began?

Not those "memories" fed to you by someone else, but true, you remember them for yourself memories.

My 8 year old son has an awesome memory. I hope he retains it. He remembers things back to the age of three, already.

Me? If I had to say, it'd probably be about 10 or 11, even 12 for that matter. And even there-after in my teenage years, my memories are somewhat vague.

Recently, I've been reminiscing, with an "old" friend. As an Air Force Brat, moving around often.....you lose touch with friends. With the world of social media now-a-days, it's somewhat easy to reconnect.

I struggle with memories - believe it or not.  Random memories pop in my mind, seemingly triggered by nothing.I feel like I should remember more. But the unfortunate thing is over the years, I feel a lot of happy memories were suppressed by not-so-happy life events.

My memories help complete the picture of who I am today. As I visit with "old" friends, more memories come flooding back. It's exciting, kind of like Christmas. 

I'm spending time, dusting off the cobwebs, revisiting some memories, and reconnecting the past with the present and with my future as well.

What do you remember? 

[Separating Dreams from Reality]

The topic of "dreams" has been plaguing me lately. 

How does one effectively separate their dreams from reality? 

Dreams are good. Dreams keep the mind active, creative. Dreams give us something to work towards, look forward to.

Dreams can also hinder us, when we cannot effectively separate them from reality.

Realizing and acknowledging that some dreams will never become reality...that they will be just that...DREAMS. Nothing more, nothing less. Once one accepts this and creates that boundary with those dreams that are just fantasies, if you will, then the conflict ends. The understanding begins.

Some dreams are meant to be lived out. Others, fantasies, entertainment for our minds. Nothing is meant to be done with them...but to dream.

So dream on. But lose the confusion, the conflict......realize which dreams are to be lived out.....and which are not. But don't stop dreaming. Ever.

{Third Grade ~Homework.}

Third grade. Is Killing Me. And I'm 38. 

Algorithms? Thesis writing? What the heck is an algorithm? Seriously? I graduated high school. I have an associates degree. I can't do third grade math! I'm a writer, but a thesis? Come on? Seriously? Really? Third grade? Have we graduated to college-level homework?  We're half-way through the first quarter and I. Am. Lost. 

Frustrated more like it. I am an involved parent. I like to help my son with his homework. But I. Can't. I'm blowing up the teacher's email. Reorganizing and readjusting. (Don't ask) but he's on his fifth teacher, mind you, three were substitutes (one turned long-term substitute.) Now he's moved into another classroom permanently and we seem to play catch up...AGAIN. You'd think all these third grade teachers were on the same page, doing the same thing. Think again. Not. Happening. 

Plus, the school has this program called AVID, which is supposed to prepare the kids for college, teach them how to organize and take notes. Six weeks into the school year, or there-abouts, and we've barely begun the AVID program. Now he's in a class that is actively working the AVID program....and we are lost, and behind. Very. Behind. We've got to start fresh.

Frustrated. A bit. About to take it all in strides. It's going to be an awesome school year. It has no choice but to be. And we're going to learn. A lot. 

---The Importance of Friendship.

So often in our busy lives, we take for granted that we will always have time for friendship.

I realize as I get "older" the importance of friends, past, present and future friends. Friends that stand with you long term, and those that are only with you for a short period of time.

Friendship is a true gift. It's a gift to be nurtured and cherished for always. 

I had the opportunity to spend the day with some wonderful friends today, one new(er) and one old(er.) We laughed, we ate, we talked, our children ran and played together. Friendship is good for your health. 

Everyone should have that friend they can share absolutely anything with, without fear of judgement. Everyone should have a friend that they can call at all hours of the night. Everyone should have that friend that you can laugh with and cry with. That friend who will support you and be by your side through anything.

Although it hasn't always been easy for me to allow friends "in," I have learned that friends are essential to life. Sharing. Hanging out. Laughing. Talking. Friends are essential to the well-being of our souls.

I am guilty of not making enough time to see  my friends, face-to-face, and am actively attempting to do better. I need them in my life. And I love each and every one of them. They've all come into my life for one reason or another...and they all have added a positive dimension to my life. 

Are you making time to nurture those cherished friendships? Make the time. It's more important than you might think. 

----Dreams vs. Reality. The Constant Conflict.

I recently read a horoscope of sorts. Not the every day generic horoscope you find in the daily newspaper or in your in-box, but a different sort of "horoscope." An incredibly detailed "horoscope." Let me add a disclaimer here that I typically put very little credence into horoscopes;they are generic, they are entertaining. 

What I read was based on my birthdate (month, date and year) naturally as horoscopes are. It alluded that often my dreams create a conflict with my reality, which in turns creates a depression and struggle of sorts. Reading that hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean seriously....it explained a few things.

Having dealt with depression in the past, I am closely in-tuned to my emotions. I know the signals when I am reaching that temporary "low." It doesn't last long, maybe a day, maybe two. And I know what to do to pull myself back up out of it.

This "horoscope" statement really got me to thinking. How to I make the two work together? I have always struggled with the past and the present....they seem to collide together. And some of my dreams, are just that. Dreams....not any that could ever come to reality. How do you find the peace with that? And still dream....but without the conflict. I'll let you know....when I figure it out. Till then......let it all collide.  

-What. Will. You. Do?-

This is where I bear my soul...and share my life's experiences. In hopes that a little vulnerability will help even just one person along the way.

We are fast approaching the month of October...it's commonly known as Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an important cause, but less known as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. 

The latter topic has recently been weighing upon my heart. As a survivor (19 years ago and going strong!!!), I feel it's incredibly important to educate others on this less discussed but equally important topic. Still seemingly taboo to talk about.

A few facts tonight:

Imagine this: EVERY nine seconds a woman is beaten or assaulted in the US. This could be your sister, your daughter, a friend. What will you do about it?

Up to ten million children witness an act of domestic violence annually. *It's a fact.* What will you do about it?

Every, single day more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. And this is love? 

Our teenage girls are affected as well. One in five have said their boyfriends have threatened violence or self harm if a break up occured. Imagine that being your daughter.

Lastly, it affect far more than the immediate parties involved. Domestic violence victims lose nearly eight million days of paid work per year. That's 32,000 full time jobs, people, 32,000!!

And let's not talk about the cost of healthcare and the monies spent in the judicial system. Staggering.

Serious subject. What will YOU do?

Support your local shelters, donate, volunteer. Educate yourself, not one month out of the year, but often.

{Have you Dreams}

Someone once asked whether or not I dream. I say, "Define Dream."

Everyone dreams at one point or another in their life. Some dreams are obtained, while others lie long forgotten.

Those forgotten dreams lie deeply embedded in your soul. Nagging at you to break free. It may seem that they are forgotten but subconsciously, they are always there, a part of you.

Forgotten dreams need to be re-birthed. You will feel better for it, if you follow your heart. Trust me on this one.

Recently I said that much of my life is not how I pictured it would be in my latter years of high school. My big dream was to graduate in Italy...head off to college in Perugia (Italy.) And live and work in Rome. I wanted to work for the USO, right down the street from the Vatican City, St. Peters Square. Oh the dreams I had then. I won't say I am discontent with the way my life is now. I've got many things to be thankful for....some things I'd never even imagined. But these dreams are still in me....deeply embedded. Oh the part about college in Italy....I'm okay with that, it won't ever happen, I'm a bit too "old" for that. But to live there again...that's a dream that will never subside as long as I live.

Dreams are important. Some dreams are just that. Dreams. Others are meant to be worked towards and lived out.

Pick up those forgotten dreams. Rediscover your dreams. Create new ones. Don't let them go. Do whatever it takes to achieve them. No regrets in life. Live life to the fullest.