New Chapter.

......Turning over a new leaf. 

.....Starting a new chapter in my life.

.....Removing the "poison" that distracts me, holds me back. 

.....Following my dreams....working hard towards them.

.....Nothing stopping me now. No one nor anything.

.....Where I'm going, few will follow.

.....Excited about this new chapter.

You Cannot Steal My Joy.

I have never felt the need to cry so much over a move at work.....my "pretend job" as I call it. It's not what I was called to do....I've fulfilled my time and my purpose...I am ready to move on and pursue my passion. But tonight, as this new change comes upon me.....right before my set date/goal to leave...I can't help but mourn this move.

It makes me angry when others try and make you miserable because you are happy......It makes me angry when others just feel the need to f*ck with you, just because....If others wanna be miserable, why can't they be miserable alone? Why try and drag others who are trying to make the best of a sorry situation, who come to work, do their job and still have fun.....despite the madness.....by now, after nearly 13 years, I should know......play the game.....chess moves.....strategize....always keep ahead....they hate it when you get along with someone. Act like you hate each other. But I am just not that way: either I like you or I don't. I am not gonna fake it, either way.

What I can't believe is that I am actually shedding tears over this nonsense. But I am just tired. And impatient for the next steps in my life that will take me out of this situation. I am sad because I have the most awesome-est officemate/friend...ever. One that gets me, one that pushes me on a daily basis to be a better me, one that holds me accountable. In the year, nearly, that we have been officemates, I have grown so much and learned so much about me.

I know bigger and better things are on the horizon, they are within my reach. I have to keep moving, keep focused, keep pressing forward and not allow anyone or anything to convince me otherwise.
I will build my own bubble in my new office space....keep out all the drama and negativity and jealousy out of my space and more importantly my mind and my spirit.

No one can take away what I have. They may think by moving me that they win, again. But once again, I will prove them otherwise. Truly, I am not the one. If they think by moving me, they can steal my joy and focus, they have another thing coming.

I will weather this upcoming storm.....but for now, I remain in mourning of my dear officemate and friend...whom I will see but not have the chance to talk to like once before. All eyes are on us. We. Shall. Shine. No matter what.

What are you Passionate about?

......During a discussion this afternoon with a friend, I posed the ever - so - thought - provoking question: What are you passionate about? What is your passion? What would you be doing RIGHT NOW whether you were paid for it or not?  This is not a question you have to answer for me, but rather for yourself.

For the longest, when I was asked this question, I was stumped. Deer - in - the - headlights look, anyone? Yeah. That was me. I mean I had hobbies....but were they passions? I could never identify my passion(s), my gift(s), my talent(s.) I mean I was always so unsure of myself...of my abilities. How could these ever be my gifts and passion?

The insecurity in our abilities will keep us from pursuing our passions. Those negative influences telling us we will never be successful at whatever our passions are, that it's pointless and we might as well give up....those people keep us from pursuing our passions. The doubt, the fear....all hold us back.

We're not getting any younger, time is slipping by minute by minute, second by second. Do we remain in unsatisfying, dead end jobs? Or do we take the chance and pursue our dreams and passions? Do we surround ourselves with people who will support us and not tear us down? Do we take the chance? Or do we just sit back and hope that one day, things will get better.

It wasn't until two years ago that I realised what my passion(s) were. Despite the late nights and exhaustion, I am pursuing them. I realise I will never live a fulfilling life without them.

Think about it. What will you do? Spend some time meditating. We all have dreams. These dreams are our passions. Rediscover them. Reignite them. Go for it. You have nothing at all to lose.