*Resolutions or Nah?*

As the calendar turns to a new year,  are busy not only preparing themselves for the evening's festivities but they are also making their new year's resolutions.

I, for one, don't make them. New Years resolutions, that is. I believe in many cases these hastily made resolutions are a set up for disappointment and failure. "I'll begin to diet today." "I'll start going to the gym today." 

How is it that by simply making these declarations at midnight on new years eve are these resolutions to become a reality? Determination, goal-planning both make it work. And why wait until a new year to set a goal? Why not begin right away? What motivates us to make these resolutions?

I have on-going goals (resolutions if you must) that I make and work on throughout the year. I set them, write them out, share them with a select few and find someone who will hold me accountable to these goals.  You need someone who will not only hold you accountable but who will encourage you as well. Partner up with someone who is positive, someone who has successfully accomplished what you wish to accomplish.

Think your goals through. Make them realistic. Write them down in as much detail as possible. Envision the steps, the process, the end results. Think about this often. Submerse yourself in it.

Enjoy each step along the way. You may become frustrated; that's okay. You may become discouraged when it seems it isn't coming together quite as planned or fast enough. Keep going. Don't give up. Even small steps will eventually get you to where you want to be. Have patience! (Not a great strength for me! Admittedly!) 

New Years resolutions tend to be made in haste, when the clock is chiming midnight. They are not necessarily well thought out, though they are well-intended ideas, they are short-lived ideas. Don't wait until the clock chimes, the confetti falls, begin now. Jump right in.

Unlimited.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend. One of those new-age conversations, where you don't really talk..........talk.....you know, when you hear each other's voices....but the electronic sort. Surprisingly, it wasn't even a conversation about our mutual passion of photography....it began with music and somehow at some point, a message popped up that said something like, "You write?" In which I promptly responded, "Yes. I write." Or something like that. In essence - the conversation became less about writing and more about talents and gifts and the limits we place upon ourselves.

It got me to thinking. What limitations am I placing on myself? We all limit ourselves to some degree, whether we think we do or not.

Fear. Lack of Funds. Lack of guidance. Fear. Comfort. 

When we are too comfortable, we limit ourselves.

When we are fearful, we limit ourselves. 

When we lack the guidance on how to achieve our dreams, we limit ourselves.

So how do we overcome these limitations? How do we live a limitless life?

Fear is natural. There is nothing wrong with a little fear. It's when we allow it to hold us back...when we allow it to stifle our dreams and creativity it becomes a problem. I admit, I've allowed fear to hold me back. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing.  Admittedly to some (large) degree, I like things mapped out for me. I like to have a plan. Yes. The plan can change, but there has to be some sort of plan. And I have had a fear of failing...what if it doesn't work out? What will I do then? But not trying is the biggest failure of all.

I hate asking for help. And that has limited me in so many ways. While I am (slightly) better at it now, it still hinders me greatly. Asking for help and guidance can un-limit you; it can remove some of that fear...that lack of knowledge in how to get to that dream. It can help remove some of the doubt, some of the insecurities.

I truly sleep, eat, and breathe photography. I've had a camera in my hand since I was in elementary school. I have taken thousands - probably millions at this point- of photographs. I've been pursuing it for over 14 years, now, but it wasn't until 3 or 4 years ago when I seriously began putting my ALL into it. It was then that I stopped comparing my work to others, I stopped being insecure about my work and I began to network, meet other phenomenal photographers and (very slowly) began asking questions, asking for input....and just shooting. Being insecure about my work held me back...being insecure about myself held me back even more. Fear held me back.

I write. But many don't know this. Oh, they know I write for digital magazines, it's all over my social media pages. But they don't know I write anything else. Not many do. Why? Because I am insecure about what I write. I don't think it's good enough. There again I limit myself. I am afraid.....crazy, huh? I criticize myself harshly. Perfection is not a positive trait.

I limit myself. No one else. Just me. But with a new year approaching, I am ready to be Limitless. To push my boundaries more. To really really pursue what I love. All the time. I am ready to take that leap into the unknown...and I know it will all work out (somehow, gasp!) Because it has so far.

-Experiences.

I had a conversation with a friend today - while it was meant to uplift them, it uplifted me as well. Dealing with depression and anxiety seems like a never-ending battle. But I can promise it's not.

This conversation made me think and realise that all of life's experiences  make us who we are. Whether they are positive or negative, good or bad...they form us. And it's our task to use them for good, for growth.

I think about some of my life's experiences: growing up overseas and having a cultural experience that not many are fortunate to have and how that has molded me and formed who I am today. My thoughts, my beliefs, my values. My first "serious"relationship as an 18-year-old with a guy who beat my ass every day.....and how I overcame it and can share and encourage others who may be going through a similar situation. I think about how I've dealt with depression and anxiety and panic attacks, many times over. Stubbornly not accepting the aid of anti-depressants but combatting it on my own, with therapy and lots of ups and downs....a whole lot of downs.

I realise that despite it all, I would not change a thing. These life experiences have made me who I am today. They've made me stronger, wiser. And if sharing helps just one person, it was all worth it. I am alive and a conquerer.

-That one outfit.

Ladies, what is that one dress, that one pair of jeans that just makes you feel beautiful...more beautiful than you already are? That one outfit that makes you feel sexy? What is that one outfit that makes you feel happy when you wake up early in the morning, grumpy, not yet ready to face the day but then you put it on and you feel like you can take on the world?

I have that one dress. Every time I wear it I feel extra-beautiful. I could be crying one moment and then put it on and I feel free! Happy. Beautiful. Gorgeously sexy. Match it with my black platform high heels and I know I am unstoppable!

So what outfit does it for you? Keep it handy. Wear it. Often.

Cereal...but no milk?

That moment when: you reach for that box of cereal (in my case the store-brand strawberry mini-wheats) and a bowl...open the fridge and discover....well, damn! There's no milk. Not even a tiny hint of milk...anywhere in the fridge. Standing there, door wide open, staring, looking, hoping, wishing a gallon (hell, even a half a gallon) of milk would magically appear.

Yes. I said "Magically appear." I tried to wish that milk into existence. Too late and too tired to leave the house. This is when you need milk (or grocery) delivery. When you desperately want cereal....and milk...but are too lazy to drive 10 minutes to get some. 

See, I rarely eat cereal and I don't drink milk, so I don't keep up on that inventory. You gotta tell me. "Mom! We have no milk!" But my son eats cereal without milk (Who does this? Seriously?! Dry cereal? In a bowl - with a spoon even!) 

Sadly, all my wishing and hoping....and the milk never magically appeared. I never got my cereal tonight...and this, my readers, makes me sad. 

The dilemma continues. I gotta get some milk.

-The Biggest Dream.

What is your biggest dream? 

The one that scares you the most?

The one that you think you can never achieve?

The one that haunts you, night and day, and invades your every thought?

What? Is? It? And what do you plan to do about it? 

Are you going to allow it to plague you? Or are you going to do something to make it happen?

Are you going to live life with the regret of never even making an attempt at making your dream(s) come true? Are you going to pretend it doesn't exist? 

Go after it! Make it happen! It's waiting for you!! 

---I Wish---

I wish you peace.

I wish your dreams come true.

I wish you hope and happiness.

I wish you unconditional, passionate love.

I wish you joy deep within.

I wish you friendship that lasts a lifetime.

I wish you well.

I wish you health.

I wish you all the great things this world & life have to offer. 

I wish...

My Battle with Depression

I am compelled to share my story of depression and anxiety and depression.....I've battled with it over the years and I am not afraid to admit it. There comes a time when we have to talk about it, to share our experiences.

Often we fear the stigma and the judgement when dealing with such a diagnosis. Someone tonight likened depression to a prison, a personal prison. No one really knows your in there....that prison. It is all-consuming...when help is not sought. It's debilitating, it can alter your life and the life of everyone around you.

Yes. Depression is scary. Yes. You may feel out of control at times. You may wish to crawl into bed and never come out. You may just wish to be invisible rather than carrying that fake smile with you wherever you go. But you have to keep on moving, you have to reach up, even when you feel it's hopeless, even when you feel like there is no way out, no end in sight. Reach out. Ask for help. I battled alone for years...not realizing I was depressed. As a teenager, who thinks of depression. The word, I am sure, was not even in my vocabulary. But looking back, all those nights I sat alone and cried uncontrollable tears.......I see I was depressed....but was too afraid to show my emotions to anyone else so I suffered alone, in silence. Depression led me to an unhealthy relationship which in turn spiraled my depression into more. I sought counseling...but never really dealt with the issues. I felt better but it was just on the surface better. It was not deep-down I am healed better. I touched on the domestic violence relationship and mostly dealt with the "why's" of that than myself.  Feeling better. I ended that round of therapy. But I was still depressed. I couldn't eat. I lost weight. I wore that "everything is perfectly fine" smile. You know that fake one, the one most, except for your closest friends, fall for. And even sometimes, you can fool them. By acting if all is normal. I was a young adult, I didn't talk about feelings, emotions. I just pushed them aside, deep down, and went about my life as if all was normal, all was well.

And then there were the adult years with depression and anxiety and panic attacks. I sought help, I reached out to everyone I knew that would support me and lift me up. I sought counseling, yet still refusing medication, I fought with therapy, lots and lots of counseling. Talk therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy. I cried. A lot. I wanted to lock myself in the closet. Depression was induced by a sense of overwhelming change and added hormones to my life. I felt trapped. I felt like I could not escape. I felt hopeless, I felt lost. I felt alone. But I reached out, not caring what others thought...I just knew I needed help and I needed to talk and share. I needed to know I was not alone and that others have been there. And I learned so much about myself, about depression, about anxiety and hopeless fear. During that time, I also experienced my first panic attack. That was the most scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I thought I was going to die. The gripping fear, unable to breath, I could not think, I could not focus. I could not sit still. Panic consumed me, fear gripped at me and would not let go. I could deal with depression but panic attacks took on a whole new life. I was constantly afraid; afraid to leave the house in fear that something might happen to me, afraid to leave work and be alone during the commute home. My safe place, my cocoon was my bed. To some degree, when I am feeling anxious, it still is. I fought it - with therapy - and support from friends and loved ones. And I conquered it.

But depression crept back in again.....It's a constant cycle it seems. I am aware of my emotions, of how I am feeling of what I am going through. I attempt to find balance, to find that calm place where I can be in touch with my emotions and ride the wave of anxiety. It's scary, yes. But it is manageable with the right tools, with the right support, medication, therapy, you can defeat depression. But you have to ask for help. You are not alone. You are never alone. Many have been through it. Many more will go through it.

Keep breathing, keep moving forward, hold on.

-Depression Is Serious.-

Today we learn of the passing of Robin Williams, who suffered from depression. Death by alleged suicide. Sadly, depression is a serious illness and can take lives just as easily as a physical illness.

Sadly though, depression is not well-discussed. Many suffer alone, in silence. Depression has a stigma. Long ago, the depressed were considered "crazy" (which is not an actual medical diagnosis by any means) and were locked away in an insane asylum. Depression is treatable, it is manageable. But we have to be able to have the "depression discussion" - safely without fear of judgement.

Depression is treatable with medications as well as therapy. It's healing to share, to talk openly rather than hide away behind that fake "everything is just fine smile." You know the smile.

Ask for help. Don't try and manage it all alone. Others have been there too. Support one another, lean on each other. Be there for emotional and physical support.

Depression is real. It is serious. And it hurts many.

The Stigma of Depression

I recently spoke with a friend who is having some {temporary}emotional challenges. 

As women in this current society, so much more is laid upon out shoulders. We are wives, we are mothers, we have demanding careers. We give...until we can give no more. And then, we are empty, overwhelmed with life. We want to curl up in bed and cry and hide away from the world. We want to scream. But instead, we put on that smile and pretend that everything is okay. We are strong. We can do this. We are masters at disguising our true emotions. We are nearing melt-down stage, but we have to hold it together. What will people think? If we break down and cry? We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. 

Many women endur this. But because society casts such a negative stigma on depression, we hide away. We fear judgement. We fear what others may think. We put our health aside....for fear of judgement. We prolong these feelings.

My friend is Christian, has a deep faith and belief in God, but feels because she is dealing with this emotional turmoil, she feels less of a Christian. As a Christian woman myself, who has battled depression and anxiety, I understand her feelings. The Christian faith preaches that we bring the depression on ourselves,they  judge us just as harshly. "If you believe in God, if you have faith in God, there should be no emotional nor mental battle." But you see, depression and anxiety are truly clinical diagnoses. It has nothing to do with the strength in your belief system. We need support, from Christians as well as non-Christians. We need to be able to reach out when we are drowning. This is real life. God never said it would be easy. But He did say we should love one another and not cast judgement. 

My heart broke when I heard my friend say this. Because I know her heart and I know how strong her relationship with God is. 

We need to end the stigma. We need open dialogue for support and healing. 

Depression and anxiety are REAL.

-Am I Crazy?_

"Am I crazy?" I asked myself, over and over again. The way I felt, mentally, emotionally and physically made me think I was crazy. It made me feel ALONE. I was scared....and alone. Even the doctors discounted it.

Nearly a year after the birth of my child, deep depression hit...and anxiety combined with panic attacks. I was spinning out of control. It had to be my oral birth control. But no. "Here." The doctors said. "Take this." They said, pushing more antidepressants at me. "No." I said. "I don't want them. What is causing this?" I asked. Over and over again. No answers. I battled this for a couple of years. The anxiety was the worst. The panic attacks left me dehabilitated. I could not function. My oral birth control had been switched from brand to brand to brand. No one would HEAR me nor listen. Until finally, I encountered a nurse practitioner who listened. "Stop the birth control." She said. "Let's see what happens." I did. I saw a new gynecologist. Who listened. I stayed off the birth control for 6 years or so. Maybe less. I can't recall. My gynecologist gave me vitamins to calm me. Natural remedies. No more pushing antidepressants. No more added hormones. It took some time, but I finally began to feel better. No more crying all day. No more fear-gripping anxiety. Until now. 

Three months ago, I decided to give some low dose oral birth control a try...again...I do not wish to have any more children. I am DONE. I feel strongly about this. And I'm at peace with this. I could not handle pregnancy.......not emotionally nor mentally. All the hormonal ups and downs and changes....this oral birth control is making me feel crazy again. Filled with anxiety. Filled with panic. Filled with fear and paranoia. There is a rational side of me and a very irrational side of me.

Yes. This is real. Yes. You are not alone. I imagine many women have been here and have gone through the same. The physical symptoms of the anxiety alone are frightening. The mood swings are equally frightful. I have a 9-year old son and a husband. I cannot go through this again. So I wait. Patiently for my doctor to give me a viable alternative. I am through with added  hormones. I am threw with this. I am scared. I feel alone. I feel.....crazy. Yes. I do. But I know I am not. I've been here before.

I encourage you to find someone who will listen. Someone you can trust. Know you are NOT alone in the way you feel. 

Seeking Freedom.

Imagine wanting freedom and a new life so desperately, so badly that you build a boat out of plastic containers and some wood. And attempt to sail nearly 600 miles to freedom? Can you? Imagine?

Most of us reading this probably cannot. We live in free countries.

While visiting the Ponce de Leon Inlet Lighthouse, I viewed for the first time in my life a Cuban boat, well, not just one but three. All using the same basic materials. Plastic containers and some wood. And an engine. Not a high-powered engine, mind you. No covering. In the Atlantic Ocean. On basically a raft.

Seeing this raft touched me in ways I can't describe. Did they survive? Did they make it to freedom only to be sent away? Are they living happily in the United States now, free?

America brags about its democracy, it's freedom, yet we tend to be a bit selfish when it comes to immigrants seeking the same rights and freedoms we have.

Do these images touch you in any way? Do they make you think?

New Chapter.

......Turning over a new leaf. 

.....Starting a new chapter in my life.

.....Removing the "poison" that distracts me, holds me back. 

.....Following my dreams....working hard towards them.

.....Nothing stopping me now. No one nor anything.

.....Where I'm going, few will follow.

.....Excited about this new chapter.

You Cannot Steal My Joy.

I have never felt the need to cry so much over a move at work.....my "pretend job" as I call it. It's not what I was called to do....I've fulfilled my time and my purpose...I am ready to move on and pursue my passion. But tonight, as this new change comes upon me.....right before my set date/goal to leave...I can't help but mourn this move.

It makes me angry when others try and make you miserable because you are happy......It makes me angry when others just feel the need to f*ck with you, just because....If others wanna be miserable, why can't they be miserable alone? Why try and drag others who are trying to make the best of a sorry situation, who come to work, do their job and still have fun.....despite the madness.....by now, after nearly 13 years, I should know......play the game.....chess moves.....strategize....always keep ahead....they hate it when you get along with someone. Act like you hate each other. But I am just not that way: either I like you or I don't. I am not gonna fake it, either way.

What I can't believe is that I am actually shedding tears over this nonsense. But I am just tired. And impatient for the next steps in my life that will take me out of this situation. I am sad because I have the most awesome-est officemate/friend...ever. One that gets me, one that pushes me on a daily basis to be a better me, one that holds me accountable. In the year, nearly, that we have been officemates, I have grown so much and learned so much about me.

I know bigger and better things are on the horizon, they are within my reach. I have to keep moving, keep focused, keep pressing forward and not allow anyone or anything to convince me otherwise.
I will build my own bubble in my new office space....keep out all the drama and negativity and jealousy out of my space and more importantly my mind and my spirit.

No one can take away what I have. They may think by moving me that they win, again. But once again, I will prove them otherwise. Truly, I am not the one. If they think by moving me, they can steal my joy and focus, they have another thing coming.

I will weather this upcoming storm.....but for now, I remain in mourning of my dear officemate and friend...whom I will see but not have the chance to talk to like once before. All eyes are on us. We. Shall. Shine. No matter what.

What are you Passionate about?

......During a discussion this afternoon with a friend, I posed the ever - so - thought - provoking question: What are you passionate about? What is your passion? What would you be doing RIGHT NOW whether you were paid for it or not?  This is not a question you have to answer for me, but rather for yourself.

For the longest, when I was asked this question, I was stumped. Deer - in - the - headlights look, anyone? Yeah. That was me. I mean I had hobbies....but were they passions? I could never identify my passion(s), my gift(s), my talent(s.) I mean I was always so unsure of myself...of my abilities. How could these ever be my gifts and passion?

The insecurity in our abilities will keep us from pursuing our passions. Those negative influences telling us we will never be successful at whatever our passions are, that it's pointless and we might as well give up....those people keep us from pursuing our passions. The doubt, the fear....all hold us back.

We're not getting any younger, time is slipping by minute by minute, second by second. Do we remain in unsatisfying, dead end jobs? Or do we take the chance and pursue our dreams and passions? Do we surround ourselves with people who will support us and not tear us down? Do we take the chance? Or do we just sit back and hope that one day, things will get better.

It wasn't until two years ago that I realised what my passion(s) were. Despite the late nights and exhaustion, I am pursuing them. I realise I will never live a fulfilling life without them.

Think about it. What will you do? Spend some time meditating. We all have dreams. These dreams are our passions. Rediscover them. Reignite them. Go for it. You have nothing at all to lose.

-Follow your Passion.

What is stopping you from your passion? Whether you do it for the money or purely for the love of your passion, whatever it may be, what is stopping you? Why aren't you giving something towards your passion each and every day?

Even if it's only a few minutes focusing on your passion, why not dedicate a bit of time to it? You'd be amazed at the difference it makes. Five minutes, ten minutes. Do it. Try it. See what happens. I promise you, you will want to devote more time to it each and every day. 

One of my passions happens to be photography...and I shoot nearly daily. When I don't shoot, I have withdrawals. I always have to shoot something, anything. And if I am not shooting, I am looking at other photographer's work or learning something new in Photoshop or LightRoom. I guess you could say I am nearly addicted to my passion. Not a bad thing. 

Passion inspires you to do more, to do better. Passion pushes you. Follow your passion. Go for it. Try it out. Each day. Do it. What do you have to lose?

-Levels of Friendship.

This seems to be a reoccurring topic this week....or these past couple of weeks. How do you know if your friends are truly on your side? If they truly have your back? If they are truly on your team?

How do we weed our true friends from the so-called friends? Should we constantly be questioning others' motives? How can we truly form relationships if we do this?

I do believe there are different levels of friendship. Some friends are in it for the long run. Those are the ones that stand by you through the good and the bad and the in between. They are the ones that you would share your deepest secrets with - and they are the smallest number of your friends. Their motives are pure. They have your back, no matter what. 

Then there are those friends that are not in it for the long run but for only a season....for whatever the reason. They come into your life for a period of time and then, they leave. For some, these friends can be hard to let go.....fear of losing a friend...and the hurt that could follow. But when we realize we are going in different directions and agree to go our separate ways, we grow. 

Then there are those acquaintances, those people we don't share much of our {personal} lives with.....

Different levels of friendships. Different levels of relationships. When things go wrong, we question motives. We question if that person was ever really there for us. When friends grow apart, we feel a sense of loss. 

We cannot go around questioning everyone's motives....we cannot ask what their "angle is" either. Relationships are about trust, no matter what level of friendship it might be. 

With this comes all sorts of emotions, feelings, sometimes hurt, sometimes happiness.

We have to learn to let go of those friends who may be toxic to us. Hold on to the ones that are dear to us.

If I call you my friend, I've got your back - unconditionally. No. Matter. What. I am there. Just call on me. No questions asked.

-Just. Remember. To. Breath. -

If one has never had or experienced extreme level anxiety, then it would be difficult for one to understand how dehabilitating it can be. It's nearly like a prison within yourself.

I've suffered from anxiety - on a severe level - add depression with the ever-so-frequent panic attack and it's a recipe for a near disaster. Trapped. Inside. Yourself.

Your chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it. You think you can't breath. When my anxiety level begins to rise (and I know when it is because suddenly my heart rate increases, my chest feels tight and heavy and I feel short of breath), I continue to remind myself to "Breath." Breath. In. Deeply. 

Breathing in deep is truly the way we are supposed to breath - not the shallow breaths most of us take. Deep breaths are calming, cleansing, soothing. Deep breaths heal the anxiety. 

Severe anxiety is no laughing matter. It's. Serious. It's scary. One feels helpless at times. Dehabilitating. Very Much So. Because you feel alone...as though no one else is or has gone through this. Many have. And many will. And it's okay to talk about it, share how you feel about it. It's healing as well. 

So next time you feel like the world is closing in on you....stop and remind yourself to "Just. Breath. Breath in Deeply. And Exhale." Before you know it, you will feel better.

Passion + Pain or Passion without Pain?

Today's "food for thought" question is this: I heard this said today and I quote (though not necessarily word for word here) "You can't have passion without pain."

I nearly was quick to disagree but then, I got to thinking. Is this really an untrue statement? Truly, it depends on what situation we apply this statement to.

If we apply this to something we are passionate about doing such as music or art or photography, I can see where the possibility of "pain" could potentially be beneficial. Pain can sometimes be that drive to push harder in your writings,  your art, your music. It can be that initiative to write that new song. Take that new photo. It can also keep you from achieving those dreams, those goals.

Artists are very passionate people. Passion is their driving force behind their creativity. But could pain also be their partner? Some of the most beautiful songs have been written out of pain. Listen to the lyrics. And some of the most beautiful paintings, also the same.

Then there's those things that are simply created out of joy. Passion + Pain? Or Passion without Pain? What do you think?

Recently, I had not only my palms read but my cards as well. I was absolutely shocked at the things she knew about me...so specifically. She was incredibly detailed and really got me to thinking.  About a lot of things. Seriously. How did she know so much? Am I that readable? Do I need to put on my poker face?

I went in with an open mind...completely ready to hear what she had to say. And she said a lot, in such a little time. Things confirmed that I need to continue to work towards. She confirmed that I am on the right path; that I shouldn't give up and keep moving, despite any distractions that may come my way, despite the negativity around me.

We all have distractions. We all have adversity. The thing is: How do you manage it? How do you deal with it?

We're a week into the new year and I am ready for new things. A Newer Me. Changes are coming. Get on board or get off the train.

{48 Hours.}

48 hour fast and detox. Two Days. No Food. Just Juice. Just Juice. Watered down juice: grapefruit, orange, lemon and water. The question was, Could I do it?

My biggest concern was weight-loss. I mean averaging between 89 - 90 pounds, I couldn't afford to lose a pound. Not. One.

Day One: Not so easy. I couldn't stop thinking about food. And my stomach growled so loud....it was insane!! Headache plus lightheadedness and then, it passed, quickly. Just. Keep. Drinking. 8 oz an hour to complete a gallon a day. Two gallons of fluids in TWO DAYS!!??!?! What was I thinking? I kept telling myself I could do this. Don't give up. Detoxing. Cleansing. Not only physically but mentally as well.

Day Two: Wow. I was feeling really good. I woke up ready to take on gallon number two. Yep. Let's get this thing going! :o) No headaches, no food cravings, and this inner peace I hadn't felt in a long time. I even threw some chili in the slow-cooker, that's how good I was feeling! (That was pure torture mind you to smell it cooking ALL night long!)

And then, I drank my last glass of juice last night at about 11:30. It was over. Sleep called and I woke up feeling great. No food cravings. Still feeling mentally at peace.

Detox + Fasting for 48 hours was tough at first but it got easier. And I did lose weight, much to my demise. A pound or so. Which means I will have to eat regularly and healthy too. No chocolate and sweets. I'd like to eliminate the little bit of meat I have in my diet but I'm not quite ready to do that yet.

Starting the new year off with some peaceful, cleansing moments. Followed by some new, healthy goals.

Learning to Shift.

Tackling new things already on this first day of *2014.* Learning to shift. This could be applied to not just learning to drive a manual transmission but to life as well.

I made my first solo run today in my 1969 Volkswagen Type III Square Back, lovingly named Penelope. A somewhat nail-biting experience as I stalled out not once but twice with a car behind me, on a hill, rolling backwards! But the confidence level I had while driving her today was amazing! I was doing it!

The thing with driving a manual transmission car is that you have to be in tuned to the cues from the engine and know when to shift. Just as in life...one has to pay attention to what is going on around them and know when to shift, when to make that change, so that everything is back in balance. It's a dance of sorts. Clutch in + brake pedal to stop. Clutch in, foot off gas pedal to change gears. It's rhythm, a dance...it all works together to keep things in balance, to keep things moving forward in a healthy manner.

The same principle can be applied to life. Listen closely for when things are out of balance, they are telling you it's time to shift gears.