....and sometimes.....it hurts.

I've been a closed book for a long time. Walls kept up to keep people out, to avoid getting close, to avoid the feelings that go along with any relationship. My circle of trust is small. 

I've never been one to open up and share a lot. But within the past year, I have begun to open up....and be who I truly am supposed to be. With that, however, has come emotions I don't want to deal with. See, when you don't care about someone/anyone, it doesn't hurt. But when you care....the relationship: be it a friendship, marriage or whatever, will hurt, eventually. And I don't like it. I am already an overly emotional person. 

Honestly, a part of me wants to turn right back around and put those walls back up....to keep people out.......so I don't have to feel so deeply. But the other part of me knows this is all part of life. And that it's okay to feel deeply.  I want to not care.....really. I do. But I can't. It's just not in me. 

Any relationship will have the good times, the bad times, and the in between times. It's knowing what to do in each of them that makes getting through it easier. I am still learning.  I guess I will always be learning. My biggest obstacle and challenge is to not rebuild the walls to keep everyone out.  Keep moving forward, keep building relationships, new and old.