The Stigma of Depression

I recently spoke with a friend who is having some {temporary}emotional challenges. 

As women in this current society, so much more is laid upon out shoulders. We are wives, we are mothers, we have demanding careers. We give...until we can give no more. And then, we are empty, overwhelmed with life. We want to curl up in bed and cry and hide away from the world. We want to scream. But instead, we put on that smile and pretend that everything is okay. We are strong. We can do this. We are masters at disguising our true emotions. We are nearing melt-down stage, but we have to hold it together. What will people think? If we break down and cry? We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. 

Many women endur this. But because society casts such a negative stigma on depression, we hide away. We fear judgement. We fear what others may think. We put our health aside....for fear of judgement. We prolong these feelings.

My friend is Christian, has a deep faith and belief in God, but feels because she is dealing with this emotional turmoil, she feels less of a Christian. As a Christian woman myself, who has battled depression and anxiety, I understand her feelings. The Christian faith preaches that we bring the depression on ourselves,they  judge us just as harshly. "If you believe in God, if you have faith in God, there should be no emotional nor mental battle." But you see, depression and anxiety are truly clinical diagnoses. It has nothing to do with the strength in your belief system. We need support, from Christians as well as non-Christians. We need to be able to reach out when we are drowning. This is real life. God never said it would be easy. But He did say we should love one another and not cast judgement. 

My heart broke when I heard my friend say this. Because I know her heart and I know how strong her relationship with God is. 

We need to end the stigma. We need open dialogue for support and healing. 

Depression and anxiety are REAL.

......Just Friends?

I am not certain sometimes how these conversations begin. Recently, a friend posed this question: Can men and women be JUST friends?

You would think this would be a simple "yes or no" question and one would move on to another topic from there. Nope. Not really that simple. Or is it? 

My thoughts were this. We're talking about grown up's here. Not kids. Grown Ups. So my answer is yes. They can. Why not? 

I've posed this question to several friends since this conversation. Most  have said yes. As long as they've never dated...or been intimate to any degree. I can see where that would be true. If it's simply platonic. Yes. They can. If they were intimate to any degree, I can see where things might become slightly more complicated within the friendship. The parties involved would need to know where to draw the line. Ultimately though, it's up to the parties involved to define their relationship.

Every relationship - platonic or not - involves boundaries, rules of sort. Establish those boundaries and run with it. The women I polled said they love the input they get from their guy friends. It isn't a perspective we, as women, have. And vice versa. I mean come on men, your conversation involves the latest football statistics when you get together. You. Need. Us. Platonically. Who else are you going to have deep meaningful conversations with?! And yes, we need you too, men. You have perspectives on things we just don't understand. Opposite sex friendships work.

My thoughts are this. It's up to you. No one else has the right to judge your friendship(s.) Each of us define our own friendships. Who cares what others think and assume. We all know what "they" say about assumptions anyways. Do what works for you. Create your own relationships and stop worrying about what others think.

Live YOUR life. Do what's best for you.