---I Wish---

I wish you peace.

I wish your dreams come true.

I wish you hope and happiness.

I wish you unconditional, passionate love.

I wish you joy deep within.

I wish you friendship that lasts a lifetime.

I wish you well.

I wish you health.

I wish you all the great things this world & life have to offer. 

I wish...

You Cannot Steal My Joy.

I have never felt the need to cry so much over a move at work.....my "pretend job" as I call it. It's not what I was called to do....I've fulfilled my time and my purpose...I am ready to move on and pursue my passion. But tonight, as this new change comes upon me.....right before my set date/goal to leave...I can't help but mourn this move.

It makes me angry when others try and make you miserable because you are happy......It makes me angry when others just feel the need to f*ck with you, just because....If others wanna be miserable, why can't they be miserable alone? Why try and drag others who are trying to make the best of a sorry situation, who come to work, do their job and still have fun.....despite the madness.....by now, after nearly 13 years, I should know......play the game.....chess moves.....strategize....always keep ahead....they hate it when you get along with someone. Act like you hate each other. But I am just not that way: either I like you or I don't. I am not gonna fake it, either way.

What I can't believe is that I am actually shedding tears over this nonsense. But I am just tired. And impatient for the next steps in my life that will take me out of this situation. I am sad because I have the most awesome-est officemate/friend...ever. One that gets me, one that pushes me on a daily basis to be a better me, one that holds me accountable. In the year, nearly, that we have been officemates, I have grown so much and learned so much about me.

I know bigger and better things are on the horizon, they are within my reach. I have to keep moving, keep focused, keep pressing forward and not allow anyone or anything to convince me otherwise.
I will build my own bubble in my new office space....keep out all the drama and negativity and jealousy out of my space and more importantly my mind and my spirit.

No one can take away what I have. They may think by moving me that they win, again. But once again, I will prove them otherwise. Truly, I am not the one. If they think by moving me, they can steal my joy and focus, they have another thing coming.

I will weather this upcoming storm.....but for now, I remain in mourning of my dear officemate and friend...whom I will see but not have the chance to talk to like once before. All eyes are on us. We. Shall. Shine. No matter what.

Have you ever done something and then just wondered, "Why in the hell did I do that?" 

At the time, it might have seemed like the right thing to do, but then afterwards, no matter how right it seemed, it seemed dumb?  

I am the type to think things through before acting or deciding...sometimes to a fault....I can also overthink and over-analyze as well, often.  I'm accused often of not being "boring" and not very spontaneous.

I tend to be cautious and once I find that "safe zone", not move far from it. After all, safety keeps one from getting hurt...right?  It also keeps one from personal growth as well as new life experiences, be then positive or not-so-positive. It's not really "living" when you play it safe all the time, is it? One has to go through hurts and disappointments in life. One has to learn it's okay to feel. Yes. It's okay to feel. Whether it be happiness or sadness, anger or frustration. At times, it's just the intensity of these feelings that make life worth experiencing...and truly living. One should never be afraid to feel, truly feel. Feels can be intense and frightening but they can also be intense and exciting.

If you fall down in life, or get hurt, get back up. Experience Life. Enjoy Life. Feel. Happiness. Sadness. Pain. HeartBreaks. Whatever it is....allow yourself to feel.

Life will be better because of it.

Don't think too much, but don't think too little. Some of life's best experiences are not the well-thought out ones, but the ones where you just "go with the flow."

Try it. And let me know how it goes for you. I promise, it will be okay.