{Friendship}

So today, on my Facebook pages, I posted the following question: In one word, what does friendship mean to you? As of now, I've got no comments, which leads me to believe either (1) I need to be more exciting or (2) I've got you stumped. (Or maybe no one really looks at my page much anyways.

I've always held friendships in high regards.....the few close ones I have had over the years. But then, life happened, circumstances made me shut down and put up walls for years...not allowing anyone in to avoid the pain that goes with friendship and relationships in general. 

So today in transit to home, while my mind has eight million, six hundred thousand and thirty thoughts racing through it...I decided to throw that question out there.

What does friendship mean to me?

-Unconditional
-Forever
-Support
-Trust
-Openness
-Honesty
-Laughter
-Tears
-Truth
-Fun
-Listening (ear)
-Advise
-Nonjudgemental
-Love

So much more comes to mind. Not single words though. Friendship should be unconditional.....no matter what......I hold you as my friend, love you as my friend.

-Curve Balls.

Sometimes, life throws us a curve ball. Sometimes, it throws us a distraction.  

Sometimes, if we are not careful, we fall into that said distraction. 

Sometimes that said distraction can be packaged all pretty....making it harder to resist. 

Sometimes that said distraction, it can present itself as the most perfect solution....but is it really?

Is that curve ball worth it? It could be.....are you willing to take that chance? 

Life is all about choices, experiences. Do you weigh the pros and cons or do you just "jump?" 

Curve balls, distractions, call it what you will.....they happen, often.

iPhone (cell phone) Pics vs DSLR Pics

So often I hear "Why take photos with your iPhone when you have that NICE DSLR?" (Well, I actually have two + two nice SLRs as well.) 

Truth be told....one cannot always carry around a big DSLR....as much as I would love to cuz I absolutely LOVE my D7000. (And my D80- not to be left out!) but I can get photos in places I otherwise wouldn't be able to when carrying around that big, heavy - you can't hide it - camera. 

Some think iPhone (cell phone) photos diminish my talent as a photographer. I argue otherwise. Photography is NOT the equipment one uses. I have seen some phenomenal (yes, I said phenomenal) work done with an iPhone. iPhone photography is a huge trend (and trend it is.) And it's convenient. Whip it out  - hell, it's usually in my hand anyhow - push the screen and I'm off. No exposure adjusting, no zooming in, zooming out, focus nothing. In a second, I've captured what I've wanted....without anyone being wise to it. I mean, come on, how easy is it to truly to that with a big DSLR? Not so easy. Once again, you can't hide it. It takes a few seconds to adjust your settings. Yeah, you've got  more megapixels, a clearer image.....the ability to print larger prints......when taken with a DSLR. But once again....I've been able to capture so much with my iPhone that I otherwise would've missed. 

Photographers- Chime in. What are your thoughts? I will never say the iPhone (or any cell phone camera) will replace the DSLR - that's just not happening. But as technology becomes better, so do the photos you can get from your iPhone. Hey! It's a fun tool. I love the apps and the effects I get....and I get tons of compliments on my crappy iPhone photos as well. 

Photography is not the equipment I use, but rather the way I see the world......whether with my crappy iPhone photos or with my DSLRs. 

Just. Keep Shooting. No matter what.

....and sometimes.....it hurts.

I've been a closed book for a long time. Walls kept up to keep people out, to avoid getting close, to avoid the feelings that go along with any relationship. My circle of trust is small. 

I've never been one to open up and share a lot. But within the past year, I have begun to open up....and be who I truly am supposed to be. With that, however, has come emotions I don't want to deal with. See, when you don't care about someone/anyone, it doesn't hurt. But when you care....the relationship: be it a friendship, marriage or whatever, will hurt, eventually. And I don't like it. I am already an overly emotional person. 

Honestly, a part of me wants to turn right back around and put those walls back up....to keep people out.......so I don't have to feel so deeply. But the other part of me knows this is all part of life. And that it's okay to feel deeply.  I want to not care.....really. I do. But I can't. It's just not in me. 

Any relationship will have the good times, the bad times, and the in between times. It's knowing what to do in each of them that makes getting through it easier. I am still learning.  I guess I will always be learning. My biggest obstacle and challenge is to not rebuild the walls to keep everyone out.  Keep moving forward, keep building relationships, new and old.

-reflections-

So many things have had to happen in my life to get to where I am now. Recently, I've been reflecting, reminiscing, looking back. I do that often, remembering the good times, and even the not-so-good times.  Why not? It's all made me who I am today........and each experience in life will continue to mold me into the person I am.

Recently in all this self-reflecting and reminiscing, I've grown to learn a few things about myself. Some have shed light on things I didn't realize about myself.....people that knew me "then" and people that know me now...and those in between.

The people that knew me "then", well, I was this quiet, "shy" girl.........not overly confident and as I like to say, ever-so-innocent. Okay, yesterday I was reminded that I might not have been as innocent as I {claim} to be! ("They" - whoever "they" are - say it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.) I allowed myself to stay there......always looking "in" from the outside. 

When I think of who I was a year ago, wow! is all I can say. I am in such a different place mentally now than then. I am a completly different person. Confident, dare I say, a bit bold. I just see things differently now. I know WHO I am and WHAT I want. And I am determined and no longer afraid to go after them. Every day I make strides to better myself, learn something new, to be who I truly am. You see, I 've realized what my husband has already known and continuously told me, people are drawn to me. I see it. Now. 

I amaze myself. I stop and ask myself from time to time, "Who is this girl?" Not the same person she was not long ago. And I REALLY like her. ALOT. I like myself. No even better....I. Love. Myself. I do. So what. If I don't love myself, how can anyone else?

Love yourself. Like yourself. Forgive yourself. Be easy on yourself. Challenge yourself. Better yourself. It's really quite simple. 

The End of October & The Story of a {Young} Girl

Well, October is nearly officially over, meaning the end of Halloween, Breast Cancer Awareness Month & Domestic Violence Awareness Month as well.

If I may be a bit vulnerable here {because my story may change someone's life....it happened for a reason....) - Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. You see I once was a young 17 year old girl, with low self esteem.....who WAS a victim of domestic violence. I was a senior in high school; recently moved back to the States {From Italy, of all places}, lonely, and quite naive!

Domestic Violence starts out quite discreetly; it's the little things that may seem "off" at first.........but then, at the same time, they don't. I mean, when you're that young, what do you know? For me, the red flag was the constant comparison to other females, but when I mentioned it to an adult, I was told not to worry...so I didn't. Brainwashing.....it occurs so discreetly, one doesn't even notice. Then, things escalated from there.........funny, how easy it is to hide the signs of abuse. I often wondered why no one noticed.......I lived with this guy and often recall leaving the apartment in tears, hanging out in the public areas of the apartment, silently crying out for help.....no one came. I remember all this like yesterday...and for years afterwards, I often wondered "Why?" "Why me?" "Why didn't I leave sooner?" I lived in pure hell, for a long time. I was a master at hiding my feelings, how easy it was to put on that "everything is great!" face.

Leaving.......not as easy as it would seem. I did....finally, by the grace of God, I am alive today.......and I am a BETTER person for having gone through it. {Who'd thought years ago I would have ever said that!} I blamed myself, I blamed others. But finally, I learned to forgive. Things happen for a reason, be them good or bad. Honestly, as awful as it was........and as much as it hurt, both physically and emotionally, I wouldn't take it back. (It sounds absolutely CRAZY!!! to even type this!) I wouldn't change it because I may not be the stronger woman I am today......and I would not have this story to tell, that may help someone else.

You see, Domestic Violence is serious.......it effects EVERYONE, the woman, the man, the children. It effects the community, the workplace. We need to talk about it, become educated about the signs and symptoms, learn what to do and how we can help. Stop saying, "Well, why doesn't she/he just leave?" It's just not that easy.............fear, dependence, brainwashing..........it keeps you there especially the fear. We need to do more about domestic violence. It needs to be talked about not just in October but every month. We need to educate our youth to prevent domestic violence from occuring. We need to encourage our young woman (and men, as well, as they can also be victims) to have strong self esteem...to know who they are as an individual...to protect themselves. We need stricter punishment for the abusers and even rehabilitation...and more protection for the victims. I remember the day I left - and sitting in that counselor's office as she showed me the different types of abuse (and I checked, "yes, yes, yes, yes." She taught me the cycle of abuse. I am familiar, and know it well.

I am thankful.......God brought me out of it, and gave me a wonderful husband and family. Good things do come. Be strong. Stay Educated. Be survivor. I am!

Let's not stop talking about it because October is over. Keep talking, keep sharing. It's worth it, you never know who you might help.

The healing will come...I promise.

Enjoy Events Co. // Celebration, Planning & Design in the Bay Area // Emily Read Bentley &: enjoy events co. advice #2: on hiring a photograph...

Enjoy Events Co. // Celebration, Planning & Design in the Bay Area // Emily Read Bentley &: enjoy events co. advice #2: on hiring a photograph...: hey folks, this is a big one today. a big and a FUN one. if you are in the process of hiring a photographer or just need some general advice...