Recently, I had not only my palms read but my cards as well. I was absolutely shocked at the things she knew about me...so specifically. She was incredibly detailed and really got me to thinking.  About a lot of things. Seriously. How did she know so much? Am I that readable? Do I need to put on my poker face?

I went in with an open mind...completely ready to hear what she had to say. And she said a lot, in such a little time. Things confirmed that I need to continue to work towards. She confirmed that I am on the right path; that I shouldn't give up and keep moving, despite any distractions that may come my way, despite the negativity around me.

We all have distractions. We all have adversity. The thing is: How do you manage it? How do you deal with it?

We're a week into the new year and I am ready for new things. A Newer Me. Changes are coming. Get on board or get off the train.

{48 Hours.}

48 hour fast and detox. Two Days. No Food. Just Juice. Just Juice. Watered down juice: grapefruit, orange, lemon and water. The question was, Could I do it?

My biggest concern was weight-loss. I mean averaging between 89 - 90 pounds, I couldn't afford to lose a pound. Not. One.

Day One: Not so easy. I couldn't stop thinking about food. And my stomach growled so loud....it was insane!! Headache plus lightheadedness and then, it passed, quickly. Just. Keep. Drinking. 8 oz an hour to complete a gallon a day. Two gallons of fluids in TWO DAYS!!??!?! What was I thinking? I kept telling myself I could do this. Don't give up. Detoxing. Cleansing. Not only physically but mentally as well.

Day Two: Wow. I was feeling really good. I woke up ready to take on gallon number two. Yep. Let's get this thing going! :o) No headaches, no food cravings, and this inner peace I hadn't felt in a long time. I even threw some chili in the slow-cooker, that's how good I was feeling! (That was pure torture mind you to smell it cooking ALL night long!)

And then, I drank my last glass of juice last night at about 11:30. It was over. Sleep called and I woke up feeling great. No food cravings. Still feeling mentally at peace.

Detox + Fasting for 48 hours was tough at first but it got easier. And I did lose weight, much to my demise. A pound or so. Which means I will have to eat regularly and healthy too. No chocolate and sweets. I'd like to eliminate the little bit of meat I have in my diet but I'm not quite ready to do that yet.

Starting the new year off with some peaceful, cleansing moments. Followed by some new, healthy goals.

Learning to Shift.

Tackling new things already on this first day of *2014.* Learning to shift. This could be applied to not just learning to drive a manual transmission but to life as well.

I made my first solo run today in my 1969 Volkswagen Type III Square Back, lovingly named Penelope. A somewhat nail-biting experience as I stalled out not once but twice with a car behind me, on a hill, rolling backwards! But the confidence level I had while driving her today was amazing! I was doing it!

The thing with driving a manual transmission car is that you have to be in tuned to the cues from the engine and know when to shift. Just as in life...one has to pay attention to what is going on around them and know when to shift, when to make that change, so that everything is back in balance. It's a dance of sorts. Clutch in + brake pedal to stop. Clutch in, foot off gas pedal to change gears. It's rhythm, a dance...it all works together to keep things in balance, to keep things moving forward in a healthy manner.

The same principle can be applied to life. Listen closely for when things are out of balance, they are telling you it's time to shift gears.

Have you ever done something and then just wondered, "Why in the hell did I do that?" 

At the time, it might have seemed like the right thing to do, but then afterwards, no matter how right it seemed, it seemed dumb?  

I am the type to think things through before acting or deciding...sometimes to a fault....I can also overthink and over-analyze as well, often.  I'm accused often of not being "boring" and not very spontaneous.

I tend to be cautious and once I find that "safe zone", not move far from it. After all, safety keeps one from getting hurt...right?  It also keeps one from personal growth as well as new life experiences, be then positive or not-so-positive. It's not really "living" when you play it safe all the time, is it? One has to go through hurts and disappointments in life. One has to learn it's okay to feel. Yes. It's okay to feel. Whether it be happiness or sadness, anger or frustration. At times, it's just the intensity of these feelings that make life worth experiencing...and truly living. One should never be afraid to feel, truly feel. Feels can be intense and frightening but they can also be intense and exciting.

If you fall down in life, or get hurt, get back up. Experience Life. Enjoy Life. Feel. Happiness. Sadness. Pain. HeartBreaks. Whatever it is....allow yourself to feel.

Life will be better because of it.

Don't think too much, but don't think too little. Some of life's best experiences are not the well-thought out ones, but the ones where you just "go with the flow."

Try it. And let me know how it goes for you. I promise, it will be okay. 

---October. Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

I. Am. A. Survivor.

I shared the "cliff notes" version of my story briefly yesterday at work with a guy friend. He. Was. Shocked. And at first, was in disbelief that it happened to me. Yes. It. Did. 19 years ago. I left. Somehow. And somehow, I am here today to share my story. I am not the same person as I was then.

I. Am. A. Survivor. Not a Victim. It happened to me. I lived it, a nightmare, day in and day out. Stalked, beat, raped. Name it. Yes. It. Happened. To Me.

It's October again. Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Often overlooked. We should do more. I should do more. Women, Children, Families are suffering because of this. We must educate our young ladies, our young men. We must be vigilant, proactive. We must make Domestic Violence Awareness known. It is a serious matter. It's not a game, it's not a joke. Lives are at risk. It affects ALL of us, whether directly or indirectly.

Please support your local women's shelters. Donate. Volunteer. Educate.

Purple is the color. Wear it. If you are a survivor, wear it proudly! Share your story. You never know who it might help.

-Giving.

Is it possible? To give too much? 

Is it possible to give so much, you can give no more?

Is it possible to burn yourself out from giving?

I can answer this for you. 

I am a "giver;" a "caretaker" if you will. It is possible. And I've been there.

Burnt out. Gave so much. With no one to replenish me along the way and no time to stop to replenish myself.

Giving of yourself is and should be a positive thing.

I fully believe one should give, their time, their talents,their love, their friendship. 

In giving, one should definitely have set personal boundaries as well as the ability to say "no."

You see as a giver or a caretaker, one can over-give easily without these. 

And when you over give, you can easily become stressed out, overburdened, overwhelmed. It's not a good feeling. 

Giving should be pleasurable. Giving of yourself in whatever aspect it might be should feel rewarding. It should never feel like a chore, a burden. 

Balance your giving. Balance yourself. Balance your life. And give. 

{Be You.}

"It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not." Mr. 62 (aka: Benny Garcia)

So often, in our society, we are busy trying to be what others want us to be.

Living up to others ideals of who we should be.

We forget to be ourselves. We think by achieving others' approvals, we will find happiness. 

We lose ourselves in the search for constant approval. We think by conforming to what others believe, we will gain their friendship, their love. But we are only fooling ourselves.

Why be someone you're not?

I spent many (many) years trying to gain approval. I spent many years trying to "fit in." What exactly does it mean to "fit in" anyhow? Aren't we all unique and individuals?  We fake who we are to fit in, we change who we are in different situations. None of this is necessary. You only make it harder on yourself. Watch and see how always being the "real" you changes your state if mind and state if happiness. 

Aren't quite sure who you are? It's okay. Spend some time alone, discovering yourself. Set your own expectations for yourself, and live up to them.

Ultimately, who cares what others think of you? Their opinions Don't. Matter. The only one who does is your opinion, your thoughts of yourself.

Be yourself...always. Don't change or compromise for anyone. Love yourself, like yourself. Be true to yourself. It will make a difference.

Watch. And. See.